First Christmas Without You

The nights are getting longer
The sun is barely here
The weather is cold and frosty
So Christmas must be near

Twinkling lights will start appearing
Holly and Tinsel here and there
Santa Wish Lists will be written
By excited children everywhere

But for me there will be no Turkey
Decorations will stay packed away
No Mistletoe to be kissed under
For me this Christmas Day

No Christmas Morning smiles
As we wake to greet the morn'
No special gifts for each other
With fancy wrappings to be torn

My day will be filled with memories
With sadness and with tears
With remembering Happy Christmas's
Spent together in previous years

This year will be the first Christmas
I have to spend alone without you
So it will not be Happy and Jolly
Just very empty, sad and blue.

But deep down I know you'll be with me
I will feel your presence when I am blue
I will smile when I remember some silly times
And the twinkling eyes that were uniquely you.

So I am not looking forward to this Christmas
I know I will be feeling oh so blue
But I know it is something I have to live through
This very first Christmas without you!

(Author Unknown)

	When you see a sky of blue Think of me and remember my favorite color, The one of peace and tranquility ~ When you see a beautiful flower arrangement Remember me, my love of art, and special talents~ When you see birds on the wing Know that my spirit soars with them  In graceful compliment to their flight ~
When you see a special smile Realize that I still smile with you, For all the wonderful times we shared ~ When you hear roaring laughter Think of all the funny things That could never happen to anyone else but me ~
When you hear a child cry Dry the tears and try not to mourn But celebrate all that was joyful In our years together ~ When you feel a gentle breeze Stop and listen for a moment You will hear my voice reassuring you To keep on doing your best ~
When you hear a lovely song Think of music, gatherings, holidays and parties, The memories that can never be silenced~
When you hug someone gently Remember my touch And know that I am hugging you And keeping you close ~
When you see a rainbow And the sun shining through the raindrops Remember the promises of God and be assured ~ I am at peace and in His presence ~ by Lucy Linder

My Beloved Mother passed away on September 19, 2012.

She has been my strength all my life.  She has been my teacher.  
She has shown me so much love. She has never judged me thru all my trials and tribulations.  Mom was always the one constant thing in my life. Never faultering, never wavering.

In the last 3 years,  I have been her caregiver.   I have learned to be more patient, more kind and giving.  Even though I grew up knowing these things, she has helped me to apply it more fully.
I miss her so much.
My heart aches that I will not laugh with her, sing with her and hold her hands that I have ever admired.  So many times, I wonder if I did enough?  Was it something I did that made her decline come more quickly?  Instead of focusing on her Alzheimer's disease, I wish I would have focused more on the COPD.

There are so many things I meant to say to my Mother.  Thank you to Thomas Beechy and your magnificent poem.  You read my heart and gave it words.
Though there will be times I faulter and fall, may she always be in my heart and mind.
Here is another poem that speaks my heart.



She is Gone

You can shed tears that she is gone
Or you can smile because she has lived
You can close your eyes and pray that she will come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all that she has left
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her
Or you can be full of the love that you shared
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday
You can remember her and only that she is gone
Or you can cherish her memory and let it live on
You can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back
Or you can do what she would want:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

Thank you David Harkins -You read my heart and gave it words.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SVtXTWgwEQQ      "I'll Be   by Reba McEntire
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMcZI8pOjjA         "Perhaps Love"   by   John Denver


http://taborfuneralhome.com/fh/obituaries/obituary.cfm?o_id=1621201&fh_id=13067
Obituaries

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Catherine V. Knowles (August 23, 1923 - September 20, 2012)  Catherine V. Knowles, 89, of Brighton, passed away on September 20, 2012 at her home. She was born August 23, 1923 in Cincinnatus, NY. She married John Knowles on April 21, 1942 during World War II. Catherine is survived by her children, Mary M. Gray of Commerce City, Joseph H. Knowles of Arvada, Catherine M. Norris of Brighton, James C. Knowles of Thornton; daughter-in-law, Barbara Knowles of Westminster; 10 grandchildren and 22 great-grandchildren. She is preceded in death by her husband John in 1990 and son, John T. Knowles in 2008. Private Services will be held at a later date. Tabor-Rice Funeral Home is handling the arrangements.

My heart aches.  Another anniversary without you.  

A-B-C- Fun

A-B-C Fun

Age: A woman never tells...

Bed size: Single.....No one to hold me now (it is still very comfy and warm)

Chore you hate: Dusting

Dogs:  Now I only have my Neen.   Though she is quite old.  I Love her so much!!

Essential start to your day: Must have Coffee

Favorite color: Don’t have one. Love them all. Although I do have a fondness for Green

Gold or silver: Silver right now...

Height: 5’2" ...eyes of blue...cutchy cutchy cutchy coo...

Instruments you play: None musically. Occasionally the Organ.  Still diddle with it at times

Job title: Daughter, sister, mother, caregiver and many more titles.  The list is a very, very long one.

Kids: Love most of them.  I am a gramma that lives too far away.  Always wanted to be a teacher to any age 4 and older.

Live:  In the moment.....Love the 4 seasons! (yes...even the winters, though the winters are harder here in Colorado)

Mom’s name: Mommo

Nicknames: A special one now gone used to call me Baby or Minerva.

Overnight hospital stays: Giving birth 2 times for me and times "watching over" loved ones.

Pet peeve:  The list “grows” the older I get....

Quote from a movie: "As you wish" from the Princess Bride

Righty or Lefty: Righty...

Siblings: Yes, I have 4. 
   My oldest brother, Jack, is now in Heaven. 
   He died June 20, 2008. ..I miss him.
   The song I dedicate to him is
  "Forever Young" by Bob Dylan.

Time you wake up: Varies....I am a night owl. 

Underwear: Wear clean pair everyday

Vegetables you dislike: Brussel Sprouts

What makes you run late: Checking my computer.

X-rays you have had: Once or twice for Bronchitis.  Thankful for no broken bones.

Yummy food you make: Almost every thing I make  

Zoo animal favorite: Aye Aye.  (have you ever seen their babies?)

If you’d like to join in on the A-B-C Fun then just copy and paste my list into your own blog post and change the answers.  Have fun!

Fifty ShadeGreys of

OH MY! 
I am reading "Fifty Shades of Grey" It is everything (and more) that the reviews say!


**Update! Finished the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy.  
Sorry folks, I found after the first titillating sex scene, it became BORING and monotonous. 
This trilogy could have been condensed into a very short paperback.
Upside, I do know who I picture as Christian Grey..... Who would you choose?

To My One True Love

I Think of You Lyrics

by Rod McKuen

When I'm alone at night,
And there's no one to comfort me,
I think of you . . .
And suddenly my pillow is your face and arms.
And when the winter wind comes chasin' after me,
I think of you . . .
And it's as though I crawl beneath the blanket
soft and warm.

How did I get from dark to daylight,
Till you happened to pass by?
How did I find my way through life,
Before you brightened up my sky?
Was there a sky at all,
Until you painted it for me?
How did I get on,
'Till you came along?

Who knows how many times I pause in every day,
To think of you?
As often as the sun sails out upon the silent sea!
And if you're wonderin' why it is I only think of you,
Well it's because I'd like to be as close to you,
As you've become to me!
I think of you . . .
I think of you . .